How to overcome a bad streak in life? Step-by-step plan from a psychologist. nasshliski

Misfortune never comes alone. Sometimes it appears with a lot of problems and small failures. An accident, a layoff, a breakup in a relationship, a cold… You can only ask yourself: “Where did I take a wrong turn and end up in a bad patch?”

Reasons for a bad streak in life How to survive a bad streak?

psychologist, narrative therapist, psychodemic expert

“The black streak is the name given to a series of crises that occur one after another. Of course, in evidence-based psychology there is no such term. After all, even a large number of negative events can simply be a series of accidents. However, there are many who want to argue, because life experience screams otherwise. In fact, the cause of a bad streak in life cannot be accidents alone.”

Reasons for the black streak in life.

Someone believes that the dark streak in our life is due to fate, which wants to teach a person a lesson. Let’s leave aside the “scientific” nature of this idea. It is much more important that a series of failures may actually have psychological reasons. Let’s look at some of them.

Tunnel thinking

This is a cognitive distortion when a person notices only certain facts and rejects everything that contradicts them. Tunnel thinking is associated with the phenomenon of perception, when we only see what we pay attention to.

For example, if you buy a new car, you will most likely start paying attention to cars of the same color and brand. This occurs because attention becomes more sensitive to information that is related to current interests. The same thing can happen after a sad event. A person who experiences, for example, a deterioration in his or her health or an accident, due to a depressed mood, may become more sensitive to negative information and begin to notice that all is not well in other areas of life. .

Additionally, we pay attention to what best meets our expectations. When the forecast is disappointing, even if something happy happens, we will not pay attention to it. But the reaction to a negative event will be vivid: “I knew it!”

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Minimal activity and social isolation

In crisis situations, although it may seem strange, intuition may not be the best advisor. For example, when we are grieving something (for example, a layoff), we want to isolate ourselves from the whole world and spend some time alone. In the short term this can be of great help. But if isolation continues, it deprives us of positive emotions when meeting friends, going to the movies or museums. Every time we decide to “wait out the storm” without leaving the apartment, we also run out of fresh air. This harms physical and psychological well-being. We interfere with the production of “natural antidepressants”, endorphins, which could reduce stress levels and improve mood.

Impulsiveness in stressful situations.

It is really difficult to act thoughtfully when we are under stress. And if it builds up over months or years, we may stop noticing it altogether. Until we break up…

In such a situation, it is no wonder that all walks of life can crumble like a house of cards. For example, due to work problems, we “take it out on our partner”: we speak more harshly, become rude, or start yelling. As a result, personal life is affected due to professional problems at work. Emotionally, after a fight, we get in the car and… we have an accident.

Depression

The statement “a dark streak has come in my life” is sometimes really based on facts, but sometimes on subjective feelings. Fatigue, apathy, sadness, and loss of interest in your activities and hobbies may actually be symptoms of an illness: depression. In this case, everything that actually happens will be seen “in black.”

Depression can occur as a reaction to prolonged stress, grief, or loss. It becomes an aggravating factor in any situation and can turn a single episode into a long black streak.

Detailed analysis and instructions from a psychologist:

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How to survive the black streak?

Sad events, failures and setbacks occur in everyone’s life. At least if you live long enough.

Sometimes we encounter events that take time to process. You can’t forget about a divorce, an accident or a robbery in one day. But this does not mean that we are absolutely defenseless. There are several ways to help yourself get out of a crisis.

Step 1: hit the brake

Problems are perceived more acutely if we are tired or exhausted. When a snowstorm hits us on the road, the best thing we can do is wait it out. Don’t beat yourself up if you decide to give up all your activities that aren’t necessary right now to sustain your life. Continue with your daily routine, but don’t overexert yourself.

If you are used to a fast pace of life, you can always return to it when the problems calm down.

To avoid falling into the other extreme, completely giving up any activity, review your journey (at least on a physical level): are you eating well, moving and sleeping enough?

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Step 2: Make a backup

Look back at everything that happened. What is the worst that happened? What did this situation teach you? How would you like to prepare to make it easier next time?

We do not try to turn bad into good, eliminate negative thoughts and “see only the positive”, we do not try to devalue the pain, sadness or anger of the situation. All this remains, but we pay attention to the lessons that can really be learned. Thus, dismissal can be the beginning of a new professional life, which will be more interesting.

Of course, at first glance it is difficult to find anything good in failures and losses. But, if you look closely, experiencing difficulties reveals new knowledge about yourself and the world, helps you develop and grow.

Use your experience. How did you overcome the dark streaks, changes and problems in your life before? What helped you cope faster? Which only made the situation worse?

Step 3: Find your route

Change is part of life. You can be angry and try to fight for a long time, but the fact is that many things in the world change without our participation and permission. This doesn’t mean you have to give up. On the contrary, it is much more effective to focus on what we can at least somewhat control.

Make two lists. First, write down everything you can’t control and give yourself permission not to worry about it. In the second, everything that is within your reach. For example, if you need a job: you cannot influence the job market, you cannot force the company to call you back or offer you a job. However, you have the power to control how much time and effort you spend searching for jobs, which openings you apply for, how to improve your skills, and much more.

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Look for travel companions. Sometimes during adversity you want to withdraw into yourself. Or we don’t want to cause problems for other people by being upset. But you don’t have to deal with everything alone. It’s easier to get through a bad period by asking for support. This could be literal help or just a friendly conversation. Even if the person you contact cannot resolve these problems, it is enough to be willing to listen without criticism or judgment.

Sometimes it seems like the dark streak will never end, but the difficulties don’t last forever. Don’t criticize yourself for how you’re doing. Taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself is an important part of dealing with a crisis. At the very least, when you faced a dark streak, you were able to not give up and continue moving forward through life. This is already a lot.

Why is this so, how do you suffer from this and is it possible to help you?

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